Book Reflection: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Why This Book Matters

Some books are classics for a reason. How to Win Friends and Influence People has been around for almost 100 years, yet as I read it, I kept thinking: “This still applies today.” It’s not about flashy strategies or clever techniques. It’s about the way we treat people.

It’s one thing to read about these principles, and another to live them. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that influence doesn’t begin in grand gestures or big moments. It starts in the small, everyday interactions we often overlook. One of the simplest examples? Remembering names.

When was the last time you memorized names?

When was the last time you intentionally tried to remember someone’s name? Not just a client or colleague, but the front desk person at the gym, the barista who makes your coffee, or the neighbor you wave to but don’t know yet.

A person’s name is often the first thing they share with you, and when you use it later, it tells them they were worth remembering.

Those tiny moments like remembering names or offering sincere praise may feel small, but they leave lasting impressions. A person’s name is often the first thing they share with you, and when you use it later, it tells them they were worth remembering. It shows respect, attention, and genuine interest. Think about how good it feels when someone calls you by name after only meeting you once. That simple choice creates connection, and it can open the door to stronger relationships. These are the low-effort actions that help people remember the positivity and light you bring into the room. Influence starts there.

The Reminders I Needed

Here are the principles that stood out to me the most (and yes, I want to keep these front and center):

• Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. Reframe it, and when you can, let it become their idea.

• Give honest and sincere appreciation. Not surface-level praise, real recognition.

• Motivate by sparking desire. Show people what’s possible and help them want it.

• Be genuinely interested in others. Not because you “should,” but because people matter.

• Remember names. To someone else, their name is the sweetest sound.

• Be a listener. The best connections start when we stop talking.

• Speak in their language. Focus on what’s important to them, not you.

• Make people feel important—and mean it. You cannot shortcut genuine connection to others and in helping them feel valued.

Personal Reflection

For me, this was a call back to the basics. In a world of digital strategies and constant noise, people still want the same thing: to feel seen, heard, and valued.

One thing that hit close to home for me was remembering my son's tattoo. My son, Tyler, had a tattoo that said “You are Valuable.” I carry that truth with me now too. Carnegie’s book was a reminder that influence really starts there: making others feel valuable.

What I’m Taking Forward

• True influence = genuine connection.

• Curiosity beats trying to impress.

• Everyone has a story. Slow down and take time to listen.

• Small gestures can leave the biggest marks.

Final Thoughts

Reading this book wasn’t just about leadership or success. It was about significance. This read was a heart check and a reminder that the way to TRUE success is to stay rooted in significance.

It reminded me that the best way to win friends and truly influence people, is simple. You must listen, care, and make others feel valued. Those aren’t just good business practices, they’re how to live the most meaningful life.